ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
