You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
