maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
