Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
