My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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