yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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