Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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