So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
