before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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