We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize