So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
