wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
