he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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