I must be too annoying 4 u.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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