Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
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To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
In other news, I just burned my penis
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
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And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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