I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
