Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
