And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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