I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize