I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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