This dress was meant to end up on your floor
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
