I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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