So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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