...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
