easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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