Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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