What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Randomize
