her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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