well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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