Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize