only if we run a train.
done.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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