You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
