am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
