i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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