this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
