Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
