Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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