Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize