oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
bring money and cleavage
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
