Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
