Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Found the puke drawer
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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