"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
