I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize