So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
