Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Randomize
