So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize