totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
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And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
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Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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