During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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