She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
