Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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