I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
