I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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