on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
