I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
3pm strippers are depressing
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
