the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
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I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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