i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize