I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
