I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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