you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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