i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize