Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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