I want to make a zoo with you.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
