ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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